Don't Ignore Your Strength

Dear Readers, 

I feel as if I'm finally over my "slump" of the past few days, but in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I am going to blog about my struggles and about strength.  I know this post feels "heavy," but I myself am feeling much lighter this Monday afternoon. So proceed in understanding and without worry :)

Yesterday was the start of National Infertility Awareness Week.  While I know that my situation is small in comparison with that of other women, I will do whatever I can to advocate for myself and on the behalf of women who struggle in silence with infertility.  Infertility affects 1 in 8 couples.  Women around you may struggle with infertility silently, because it's not easy to answer the question, "Why aren't you pregnant yet?"

NIAW challenged bloggers with the theme, "Don't Ignore."  Infertility is easy to ignore because it's not an outward condition.  However, it's impossible to ignore for those who suffer from infertility.  Right now I have 2 different OPKs in my purse, hoping against reality that maybe I will be ovulating. And, if I am, I then move to hoping that my right fallopian tube picks up the egg as my left tube does not function. From there, (if I even get there), I hope for a positive test and a pregnancy that lasts longer than 7 weeks.  From one milestone to the next, I would've traveled in silence if it weren't for others I've found on my journey.  We know the impossibility of ignoring our infertility, so let's not ignore the strength it takes us to make it through.

Don't Ignore Your Strength. Lazy mornings are the worst. Trying to overcome those feelings that always seem to lurk beneath the surface--inadequacy, unfairness, depression--all trying to claw their way out of my eyes in the form of tears.  Breaking from these does not mean that I don't cry; it means that I realize why I cry and take control of the situation, sometimes more successfully than others.  Why don't we hear about infertility as often as we hear about easy pregnancies? Because those women are forced to be strong, forced to realize that they have to take charge, because as Zora Neale Hurston said, "the dream is the truth." Women do not accept that their dreams are "forever on the horizon," but instead "act and do things accordingly" to achieve these dreams. What a beautiful image for infertility.  We don't know when our ship of dreams will come ashore, but we must be strong enough to believe that our dream is the truth.

Don't mistake tears for weakness.  Tears mean that we deal with our problems when they are difficult. Tears mean that we are human. Tears mean that we know the strength needed to carry on and that--in that moment--we may feel overwhelmed.  But we dry our tears, go to yet another doctor's appointment, have yet another test done.  This is strength, the strength to chase a dream that feels unattainable.  We can't forget to realize that our journey shows our strength, and our strength shows our resolve.

• http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.) 
• http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)