Post-Baby Bump...

As mentioned in my post the other day, I'm a lover of all things Kate and Wills, including little Prince George.  As I was catching up on my celebrity gossip, I saw this article about Kate's "post-baby" body and was just appalled that people were already discussing this, as if this girl doesn't have enough on her mind (oh, I don't know a newborn, millions of people watching her, just a typical day).  I honestly have wanted to write about this for a while but this was the impetus I needed, simply because the front page of that magazine was so appalling.  For those of you who saw Kate after Prince George's birth--and let's face it, unless you've been living under a rock, you've seen the photos--she flaunted her post-baby bump in a gorgeous dress. She looked so beautiful.  Finally, a celebrity who doesn't hide from the public for five months and then suddenly reappear looking flawless with a completely flat tummy.  (hello, Kim Kardashian--does anyone DOUBT this is why she hasn't been in the news lately?!)

Here's my story....I've always struggled with my weight.  In second grade, I had to go on a diet because I was pretty much a human garbage disposal.  Once I started playing soccer, I lost all that weight and maintained until college when I studied for a semester in Europe (and gained 35 pounds...studying gelato and pastries is hard work).  Since then, I've been on a roller coaster: I lost a lot of weight quickly on South Beach before my wedding, but gained that back.  I never really dieted again until 2011 when I was at my heaviest, so my BFF and I did weight watchers and I discovered Jillian Michaels' workout videos.  I was finally in great shape and so happy...then I got pregnant, miscarried, and began all of my surgeries and hormones.  It was hard to keep in shape during that time, and when I got pregnant with D, I was on uber hormones.  I also only wanted fast food tacos for the first trimester, and the thought of a vegetable that wasn't served in between tortillas grossed me out...so by 13 weeks, I had already gained 12+ pounds.  At the end of my pregnancy, I was up 40+ pounds, and only now--five months after D's birth--am I back to my pre-pregnancy weight. This is not to brag, nor is it glorious. Things have shifted around, I don't have the time or the energy to work out and tone back up, and it's a struggle every day to eat well in the minimal amount of time that I have to eat. 

Magazines are quick to flaunt the wonders of celebrities who lose their baby weight immediately and then look gorgeous on the red carpet, so when we "mere mortal women" have our babies, there's this sense of pressure to lose the weight NOW.  God forbid we wear something form-fitting and display our post-baby bump; bravo Duchess, bravo!!  Here's what people don't tell you about losing the post-baby weight.

It's HARD. You have to sleep and consume enough calories to keep up your supply to breastfeed.  When the baby sleeps, you rarely have enough time to nap or put the dishes away, much less pull out a workout video, work out, and then shower before baby wakes up.  Those nice healthy meals you're supposed to eat get harder and harder to make with a baby on your hip or screaming in a swing.  And most women can't even exercise until 6 weeks after baby is born.  This is reality.  Reality is NOT having a personal trainer, a nutritionist, and several nannies to watch the baby while you work out five times a day and have healthy meals delivered to you. 

There's so much pressure on women to look perfect right away, and I think it's so disheartening and demeaning that we focus on that rather than the miracle that just took place.  We put our bodies through the traumatic experience of giving birth to a human (in my case, an 8+ pound human)...let's focus on that for once rather than how big the post-baby bump is or how quickly we (or Kate) can lose the baby weight.  That's such a misplaced priority.  

Mommy Vices and Advices

I've been refreshing my news app on my phone incessantly, waiting for news of the Royal Baby.  Like many other Americans, I love the love story of William and Kate, and I am enamored with the royals.  Silly, probably, but I think I've always loved a good love story.  My mom was pregnant with me when Prince William was born, and now I have Daniel who will be exactly five months older than the RB, if he or she is born today.  I told him this morning that he can marry the future princess if he wants, though Sparky and I are not quite rich enough to get royal attention :)

While I love Kate, I also feel deeply sorry for the scrutiny she will endure as a mother.  The news this morning was discussing whether or not she would have an epidural, and the state of her cervix and dilation.  The state of her cervix is of international concern? And that's just the beginning I'm sure. 

Breastfeeding or not breastfeeding. Baby purees or baby-led weaning. Sleep training or no sleep training.  Vaccinate or don't vaccinate.  As "mere mortals" (aka non-royals), new moms deal with these pressures all the time.  People are quick to condemn you if you don't breastfeed.  Now that D has started solids, all I read about is how "baby-lead weaning" is better.  The latest comment: "why would you teach a baby to swallow before you teach him to chew?" Well...doesn't a baby have to swallow after he chews?!  I have to admit, I like the idea of baby-led weaning, but I don't have the time to research and decide if that's what's best for us (plus, I like making baby food).  And believe it or not, I just read about a movement to not diaper. at all. I have no idea how that works.

This endless "advice" or as someone has said "ass-vice" is tiring to a new mom who's trying to do what's best for her child.  Even when I feel like I'm doing a good job being a mom, I can read something or talk to someone and suddenly start second guessing myself.  We start to apologize for our babies, as if they're supposed to be little perfect beings and we are supposed to be perfectly put-together moms all the time.  The more I try to be "perfect," the more I stress out and the more D feels me stress out. 

I don't think it's fair to any mom to scrutinize her parenting.  Parenting is a deeply personal commitment, a belief, almost, and every set of parents are entitled to their own beliefs.  I do not criticize other's parenting choices--what right do I have to do so?  Doing what's best for your child is ultimately the most important thing, and if that means breastfeeding "a boy who's old enough to chew steak" (Miranda, SATC) then so be it. 

My mommy vice: I nap with Daniel in my arms, in the rocker in his nursery.  When he wakes up after only 30 minutes from a nap that should be at least an hour, I pick him up and I rock him and sleep with him for as long as I can.  I tried to let him cry and failed miserably. He gets upset and I get upset and and stressed and it's just a really bad situation.  We don't cry-it-out.  And maybe we never will.  I make no apologies for that.  He will eventually nap longer than 40 minutes without help, and he will also eventually not want me to hold him and cuddle him, so I'll steal those cuddles while I can.

So yes, I'm going to feed my baby purees that I make from organic veggies.  I'm going to use disposable diapers. I'm going to let my son nap in my arms, and I'm going to give him Tylenol when he needs it.  If those are the worst of my mommy vices, then I think I'm doing a pretty darn good job.  I know that the scrutiny Kate will receive comes with the territory of being a Royal, but I hope people remember that she's still human, still a first-time mom, and still deserves to parent without the "ass-vice" of those "who know better."

And on a funnier note: I read a tweet this morning from @professor_snape that said: "If Will is 100% royal and Kate is 0% royal, is the baby a half-blood prince or princess?" Love it :)

And it begins...Again...

I'm currently watching my five-month old roll around on the floor and try to put every.single.thing in his mouth.  So far, he's happy which means we may get another day break from the hell that is teething.  Yet...I'm also supposed to be ovulating this week, and even though I do have this precious little boy who's changed my life completely, we're also back at square one, or baby number two. 

I'm sure that a lot of people would say WAIT!!! DON'T DO IT!!! or...shouldn't you just be happy?! You already have ONE! I realize as well that I am completely and utterly blessed to have this amazing boy, but we know that our family is not complete. 

AF decided to show her face when D was about four and a half months old.  With her, she brought a decrease in milk supply (and I'm not sure it's ever fully recovered) and the beginning of OPKs again.  According to my arch nemesis fertility friend, my smiley face should've showed up yesterday, but said smiley face is being elusive.  Which really is fine with me at this point.

Let me explain why...I'm in my second year of grad school.  I will graduate in May 2014 (yay!), and while I talked a big game about "just putting the baby in the carrier and getting all my work done no problem," the reality of having a child AND doing grad school is that it's REALLY HARD.  I love my coursework, but trying to read and write papers during nap time which may or may not last longer than twenty minutes right now is just tough.  Thank goodness I have a mom and a MIL who will watch D for a few hours so I can get some uninterrupted work time.  With that said, the idea of even having another infant before I graduate in May is incredibly daunting.  Sparks and I would do it, if that's what God gives us, but I would struggle.  We're not exactly preventing Baby #2, but let's just say we're also not dancing when the baby song is on. 

Now, come September or October...bring on the baby song.  In pulling out that dusty box of OPKs, though, I was flooded with so many emotions I forgot existed.  Even though I'm not quite ready to get pregnant again, I can't help but hope to see that smiley face.  When I took a pregnancy test a couple of months ago (because AF hadn't shown up yet) I was a little sad that it was negative.  With only one working tube, the reality is it WILL take us longer to conceive again.  I'm curious to see what the next few months hold, and I'm curious to see how I deal with it now that I have D. 

This space that I've created and that I love will become a mix of emotions I'm sure--TTC and parenting, and really, just living life and trying to find the time to write about it.  What this space has given me over the past year and a half, though, is support and a wonderful group of ladies I think of as friends. And the coolest thing--most of these ladies are now holding their own little ones. and I think that's pretty darn awesome :)

ps...D just tried to eat my keyboard, and here he is trying to eat a pitcher of margaritas

As American as Apple Pie

According to the Today Show, apple pie actually originated in England in the 14th century, but who am I to challenge the age-old saying, "as American as apple pie"? Funny, we don't typically think of apple pie as a 4th of July dessert; rather, pies are reserved for the Big Holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter.  Well, this year, I've broken that mold a bit and actually made an apple pie for Father's Day and now 4th of July....

Flashback to the summer before my junior year of college. I decided that I needed "A Thing." You know, something that would make me known and set me apart at all those fancy soirees I would eventually attend.  I decided I wanted to be the Girl Who Made Pies.  So, I embarked on a journey to figure out how to make my own pie crust.  Apple pie seemed like the easiest place to start, so I got on Food Network online and found a pie that looked easy enough.  And hours and a whole lot of mess later, I had a pie.  It was runny and the crust was tough, but I had made a pie.  As any baker knows, crust gets better every time you make it.  A little known side effect of pies is that boys LOVE them.  Kind of like my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but in a much classier pearls-in-the-kitchen kind of way.  My best guy friends in college started asking me to make pies. I auctioned off a pie in an on-campus auction that was bought by the guys who lived across the street from us.  Now, both my dad and my FIL and of course Sparky beg for pies. 

If you've read my blog for any amount of time, you know I'm a perfectionist.  As such, I've searched and searched and searched for the perfect pie crust recipe.  In my cookbook, I have different variations marked for different types of pies. I've tried Crisco, vinegar, egg-based crust, butter, and my actual favorite, lard.  Only one time has a new crust flopped.  But every time, I go back to my tried and true all-butter crust.  It's not quite as light or flakey as a lard based crust, but let's face it, who really keeps lard on hand?

What's funny is that every time I make a crust, I always get this feeling that the dough will never come together. There's a certain point as I'm meticulously adding tablespoons of water and trying to get the dough to come together that  I feel a lump in my throat and think, this will never work. But alas, it does, and most of the time, the crust rolls out beautifully in the end.  I'm sure this is some sort of metaphor for life, but I'm too sun-drunk to realize it right now.

I make lots of pies, though my favorite is still apple, a la mode if there's ice cream on hand.  Sparky is like a master apple cutter, so the apples are paper-thin and layered, making my pie tender and meaty all at the same time.  I like to use a pie bird because I feel like the pie cooks more evenly inside.  And my one last little secret: nutmeg or pumpkin pie spice added to the apples. 

My pies never look perfect.  In fact, my beautifully-crimped pie edges always puff up. They never stay pretty and crimped, and my dough often puffs up and slides down the sides of my pie plate. I've learned, though, that this makes them look homemade. No one will ever accuse me of buying a frozen pie crust (not that there's anything wrong with that--cue Seinfeld reference). 

Because it's the 4th of July and I'm proud to be an apple pie making American, I'm going to share my recipe.  Happy 4th :)

Crust:
2 1/2 C flour
1 C butter, chilled (I've done half lard before as well)
1 t salt
1 t sugar
approx. 10 T water

I put all dry ingredients in food processor and then add the butter in chunks and pulse until it forms a cornmeal type of consistency (or little peas of butter). I add 8 T of water and pulse, then I dump the mixture into a bowl and finish adding the water (as much as you need to form a ball of dough) and mixing by hand.  I wrap in plastic wrap and let sit in the fridge for at least 45 minutes, though I think overnight is best

Pie Filling:
6-7 cups thinly sliced apples. I use a blend of Granny Smith, Jonagold (or whatever is in my house), and at least 2 honeycrisp apples. HC apples are expensive but worth it.  Slice apples paper thin
1 C brown sugar
1 C white sugar
1 t cinnamon
1/2-1 C flour depending on how watery your apples are

Mix all ingredients together.  For best results, layer in pie crust, do not just dump apples in. 

When I'm ready to roll my dough, I take out the dough ball, cut it in half and put half back in the fridge until I'm ready to roll the top crust.  Let dough sit for about 15 minutes until it gets easy to roll.  Flour your rolling board and pin (mine are both granite).  I also let the rolling pin chill in the freezer before rolling. I think it helps keep the dough cool.  Roll dough and lay in pie plate, making sure to have enough overhang to attach to the top crust.  Layer in apples. On top of apples, take 2 additional tablespoons of butter and portion them out across the top of the apples.  I make about 5 little slices from 2 T of butter.  Roll your top crust and place over pie.  Crimp edges together and cut off excess dough.  Unless you are using a pie bird, you will need to make slits in the top of the pie to allow steam to escape.  Bake 25 minutes then cover edges with pie guard or foil and bake 25-45 more minutes depending on pie. 

Enjoy :) and here's the pie I made today...I tried to make it more American...not sure it worked very well

Traveling, teething, and tantrums

HELLO blogettes! I have missed you all and this space dearly!  Life is life as normal lately, meaning Sparky is out of town working and I'm juggling baby, school, and work.  Nothing new here!  I thought I would write a little about our recent traveling experiences with a four month old and share some Daniel updates.  It's always helped me to see what other people's babies are doing/did at the same time as mine...makes me feel normal somehow.  So here we go...

TRAVELING WITH A FOUR MONTH OLD....
...first two flights: perfect baby.  We flew during the day, so D dozed on and off.  We kept him occupied by standing him on our laps and letting him watch the TVs on the plane. He loved to look down the row at all the TVs.  What worked for me:

• Feeding him right before take off so he was happy
• Bringing his favorite toys
• Keeping his paci in on descent so his ears didn't pop
• Making friends with the flight attendants! They even brought me huge bottles of water because I was breastfeeding :)

...first flight on the way home: O. M. G. We were "those people" with the baby.  I had to take D in the bathroom he was screaming so loud. We were traveling at 5 pm which is the WORST time to travel with a baby.  I will never, ever do that again.  During the day or late at night seems best.  He was so over tired from not sleeping during the day that he would not calm down to go to sleep.  Nothing worked, not even the boob.  We were delayed and re-routed so we didn't get on the plane until around 7.  D finally fell asleep on the descent.  He woke up when we got to Chicago (around 9pm) so he was zonked by this time.  What worked for me, NIGHT TIME TRAVEL:

• Changing him into his pjs in the airport--he knows his bedtime routine
• Giving him Tylenol (please don't judge me...) to avoid scream fest #2
• Feeding him as soon as we got on the plane and then keeping the nursing cover over me so that it was dark and he could stay asleep. 

This time, D slept through the entire flight and then went straight to sleep in the crib when we finally got home around 2 am. 

NECESSARY TRAVEL ITEMS

•  Jeep carseat travel bag. We checked the carseat (for free! it's called and exception item) and then used our Snap n Go stroller in the airport. I carried D in the Bjorn and we put all our bags in the stroller (since it doesn't work without the carseat). These things both worked great. We gate checked the stroller easily each time.
• LOTS of blankets. My arm got really sore from him sleeping so I used the blankets as padding
• Babyganics sanitizing wipes. I literally wiped down EVERYTHING and D's hands and feet multiple times. Airplanes gross me out.
• Portable changing pad (mine came with my diaper bag)
• Footed pjs/socks--the planes were cold