Happy Halloween!

Just a quick pic of my absolute fav halloween costume.  This was obviously three years ago as I would not fit into these shorts OR those abs right now :)  Girl Scout and DH as Dog the Bounty Hunter (the tattoos are fake).  Good times, and good inspiration for post-baby body!

Liebster Blog Award

Sorry for my neglect over the past few days. Time is flying by and I'm barely hanging on!   I have nothing very new or exciting to share. I'm still obsessed with cooking in my new kitchen, DH is still leaving for Finland on Sunday. Oh, and I've lost all my socks.  I don't know where they could be, but I think I remember packing them before we moved.  This is very unfortunate as it is boot season and all I have are work out socks.  Work out socks + boots + slightly swollen prego feet = sad JB.  I will do a more extensive search-and-rescue mission for my socks after work today.

I was nominated for the Liebster Award by Aspgriswold!. What is a Liebster Blog Award? The Liebster Blog Award is given to up and coming bloggers with less than 200 followers, and nominated by fellow bloggers. Liebster is a German word meaning sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome. Better yet, to me it means “happy.”  So...here are my answers to the Award questions! 


1) If you were a pickle in a jar, where would you want to be and why? I would want to be on the far outside, by the calorie label, clearly because I would have a view of the outside world and I would hopefully be eaten last.

2) What is your favorite holiday? Thanksgiving.

3) If you have a bucket list, what is the most ridiculous thing on it? Owning a pair of Manolo Blahniks that I purchase at the actual store in NY.

4) If you could only watch one Disney movie for the rest of your life, which one would it be and why? Lion King. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this movie and I think I would choose it because of all the wonderful childhood memories that it brings back.

5) What is your favorite nursery rhyme? There was an old woman who lived in a shoe...I mean come on! She lives in a SHOE!

6) Do you have any pets? If no, why not? Yes! our baby girl, Callie. She's a white boxer with different color eyes. She'll be 7 in April which makes me sad, though she's still as spunky as ever.

7) Is your current hair color your natural hair color? I lovingly refer to my natural color as "mouse brown." So no, I hate my natural color.  I'm a blonde by personality I think (minus most of the stereotypical ditziness) so I have blonde highlights year round. I've tried to go the red route as well, but I can't find a color that works.

8) What do you like to do in your spare time? Read, plan vacations, travel, bake.

9) If you could be any crayon color, which would you choose to be? silver and gold. Those were always the crayons I used the most as a kid.
10) What is the furthest you have been away from home and where was it? I traveled Europe in 2002 with my school's study abroad program.  I guess technically the farthest point would be Greece.

11) How old were you when you got your first cell phone? Senior in high school, so 17. It was neon yellow and did nothing but make phone calls, as all good cell phones did.

Viability! Milestone six hundred and eighty two

Ok, so I probably haven't had that many milestones, but I do feel that pregnancy is a series of milestones.  I'm trying to be careful to enjoy each one because I know I will miss today and I will miss being pregnant, despite the crazy.

Today, Baby Boy has reached viability!  In my words, not medical mumbo jumbo, Baby Boy could survive outside the womb if born today.  Would he need serious help? Yes. Would he be in NICU for a long time? Yes. But regardless, my Baby Boy could make it!  If you don't know her, Mrs. Green Grass is another blogger who's shared her conception experience (through IVF) and all of the details along the way.  She has an amazing story.  Her little boy, Dylan, was born at 25 weeks and is now in NICU progressing very well.  Her story is inspirational, and if you have a minute, stop by her blog and say hi and wish her little Dylan well. 

I didn't really think that DH cared much about milestones until he asked me to confirm how many weeks I was (this was last Sunday). I said I was on my way to 24 weeks, and he immediately told his friend, "that's a great point because Baby could survive if he had to!" So cute!!  I guess getting to hold our baby is a countdown for both of us.  I think it's amazing how loss (or infertility) affects the men in our lives more than we know, and probably more than they tell us.  DH can be a excruciatingly quiet very contemplative person, so I don't expect him to open up to me unless I ask him pointed questions.  I wonder how many men out there just bottle everything inside and we never know.  I wonder what the solution is.

So today I am 24 weeks.  I am feeling tons of movement and I am thrilled to pull out my long-sleeved maternity tops.  I will rejoice in today and in feeling the little ninja move.  Even if every day isn't perfect, it is still another day I'm pregnant, another day I grow to love Baby Boy more and more.

Next milestones: third trimester, glucose test, maternity pics (not the creepy kind), nursery completion. 

Procrastination at its best

Thanks for all of the kind comments on my post about anxiety issues.  I have to remember that it's not a weakness to be anxious and that no one expects me to be perfectly pregnant or happy 100% of the time.  My BFF (who is also prego!) said that I made her feel like a normal pregnant woman since I'm not just this "perfect prego momma." :) She made me smile, as she always does.

In other randomness, I can't find the motivation to grade right now. I really should be grading because I have my own school work to complete by tomorrow (eek!) but...blogging seemed like more fun.  I have two more recipes to share!

• Pumpkin Cookies (so moist and wonderful!)
• 1 c. canned pumpkin
• 1 c. white sugar
• ½ c. vegetable oil
• 1 egg
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1 tsp. milk
• 2 tsp. baking powder
• ½ tsp. baking soda
• 1 tsp. cinnamon
• 1 tsp. nutmeg
• 2 c. all purpose flour
• 1 c. chocolate chips (I usually use the whole bag though) mini is better
• Nuts (optional)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mix all wet ingredients. Combine all of the dry and then add them in.  Add in chocolate chips. Use small scoop to drop onto parchment paper. Bake for 12 minutes--mine needed less. You really don't even want the bottoms to brown

• Spaghetti Squash Au Gratin--just posting the link because the comments have some excellent ideas for changes to the recipe.  DH adored this side dish! I think I'm spoiling him with all my food forays in the kitchen.  I didn't leave the cookies at home, though. My students were the recipients of that procrastination tactic!

On the baby front...Baby Boy is now apparently a very hungry ninja.  I am always hungry and he is always moving.  As of my 24 week appointment on Tuesday, he's measuring right on track for our 2/16 due date.  Dr. N said that I can take ben.adryl to help me sleep through the night, but only occasionally.  She said the anxiety is nothing to worry about as long as I calm down within two minutes and as long as there's no prolonged rapid heartbeat. 

My dad officially sketched out our nursery last night (like, on the walls!) and we're ordering furniture next weekend.  Our furniture will take between 6 and 12 weeks to arrive, and if it takes 12 weeks, well, I'll be a little worried!  I started planning my picture wall for the nursery as well.  I'm going to be doing a collage of quotes, pictures, and other little randomness.  I know this will be my favorite part of the nursery.  My project for the weekend is creating a painted canvas, as seen here.  I have a beautiful quote picked out as well.  E.tsy is my best friend for finding unique prints.  I'm not incredibly artistic, but I do plan on hand-scripting something for the wall as well. 

Nursery planning = way more fun than grading essays or doing grad school work. 

Oh and DH is headed back to Finland next week for business...but only for two weeks :)

Sunday, Crappy Sunday

Thanks to Amy @ Dwelling on Dreams for giving me the courage to post this after I read her post. I don't like to admit weaknesses (darn perfectionist personality) and for that reason, I think I've hesitated to write about the not-so-fun happenings in my brain, or whatever part of us houses our emotions and ability to rationalize between heart and head.


I've been struggling with anxiety. Back in 2005, after college, starting a new teaching career, and the dissolution of my 6 year relationship, I started having full-blown panic attacks. My doctor put me on a low-grade anti-depressant which I stayed on until summer 2009 when I started seeing a therapist so that I could go off the meds. I've therefore been off anxiety meds for over three years. I've had a few minor panic attacks here and there, but my therapist gave me coping mechanisms and helped me deal with the underlying issues of those attacks.

Fast forward to second trimester. I have between five and ten minor panic attacks A DAY right now. They come on randomly. I can't control them and I can't even tell you what initiates them. I get anxious before I eat every meal. Honestly, I can get anxious just watching TV. These aren't full blown attacks, just a tightening of my chest and a feeling of general unease and anxiety. Anyone who's ever had a panic attack knows this feeling.

Well, Sunday seemed to be the pinnacle of these attacks. I had grad school work, grading, and house cleaning to do. DH had people over to watch football. I was making dinner for SIL to help out with the baby. And I lost it. I broke down sobbing uncontrollably, unable to breathe. I had a sharp pain in my lower-left pelvic area which of course freaked me out. DH calmed me down, brought me a fan, and generally took care of me. And then it happened again Sunday night. I got back from a walk which I thought would've calmed me down (no such luck). DH lost his wedding ring playing football in the backyard, and one of his friends had sat on my gorgeous leather couch with a wet bathing suit, leaving a cushion-sized mark on the couch. Of course, in my state, I was convinced the couch was ruined. (The couch, however, has turned out just fine after some conditioning and intensive fan-drying, but the wedding ring has not yet been found). Cue sobbing, and worse, sobbing in the shower.

I was ashamed of the way I was feeling. Ashamed that I--of all people--couldn't control my emotions. I'm supposed to be strong, positive, glowing. Instead, I'm this heaping, sobbing mess crying on the shower wall. I love Baby Boy so much, and what made this whole situation worse is I kept thinking that I was hurting him. If he feels what I feel, is he upset? Am I hurting his emotional state? Is he going to come out and be this anxiety-filled terror because of me? Is he feeling all of my stress? I guilted myself into believing the worst. And of course, because I was so hysterical, I couldn't feel him moving as much. Panic and anxiety took hold.

Again, DH is amazing and wonderful (despite the lost ring). He just held me. He did use tough love, telling me I have to stop and I do have to think about Daniel, but he helped. I wanted to eat yogurt for dinner; he made me eat real food. I had two nice sips of wine, and I did eventually calm down. My principal let me come into work late on Monday so that maybe I could get some sleep. The whole anxiety situation is compounded by the fact that I can't sleep through the night anymore so I'm overtired and mentally exhausted.

Honestly, I don't know how to handle these little chest-tightening anxiety issues. I don't want to be on meds because really I don't feel these instances are enough to warrant meds. I don't want to hurt Baby Boy. I desperately want to sleep. I want to be in control of my emotions and my anxiety again and I feel powerless. How can I gain back my positive emotional state? I'm petrified that DH is going to get fed up with me and stop being so wonderful and understanding. I don't want to push him away.

Baby Boy seems to be doing great. I feel him all the time, but I can't help but worry about (please don't judge) him being strangled by his umbilical cord. WHY WHY WHY is this in my head? Do normal people worry about this? I'm petrified that because he's so active he's going to hurt himself.

I go see Dr. N today for my 24 week checkup. I will be asking her about the anxiety, and hopefully she can tell me I can take something to help me sleep, but no anxiety meds.

Not the happy-go-lucky post expected of a prego who's thrilled to be prego, but it's nice to write these things down. Thanks for listening, blog friends.

Pumpkin and punkins!

I don't know if you are allowed to be "nesting" at 23 weeks, but all I want to do lately is be in my kitchen cooking or baking, preferably baking.  While I love baking and definitely turn out some awesome pies for the holidays, I usually refrain from doing so as baking = eating which for DH and I = gaining weight.  I have the metabolism of a...snail? turtle? I smell food and gain weight.  But, with Baby Boy on the way, I allow myself a few more treats.  I'm still exercising 4 times a week so I think I'm allowed to splurge. 

I also want to share these wonderful recipes with y'all! 

First, pumpkin blondies.  So wonderfully light and fluffy, even though there are 2 sticks of butter in them.  Here's the recipe.  I actually took a picture but I don't have my camera accessible right now, so the picture will have to wait.  I actually recommend more white chocolate chips.  This will make them less fluffy and more decadent, so you choose.  I also did not add butterscotch chips or nuts, and I substituted half brown sugar for half of the white sugar. 

Second, pumpkin bread (notice a theme here?!).  This recipe makes two beautiful loaves. I gave some to my mom and half a loaf to SIL and BIL when I brought them dinner tonight.  I can't help her with 3 am feedings, but I sure can send her food to give her the strength to keep going!  For this recipe, I also made some alterations.  I didn't want to use the whole 1 1/2 C of olive oil, so I substituted 1/2 C of olive oil for 1/2 C of unsweetened applesauce.  This also gave the bread a lovely texture.  I also only used 1 C of sugar as I didn't want the bread to be overwhelmingly sweet.  Honestly, I probably could have used even less sugar and the recipe still would've turned out great.  Last alteration...I used dark chocolate chips (60% cacao) again to cut down on sweetness (and don't they say dark chocolate is good for you?!)  Tonight I will enjoy this bread (again) with a nice cup of decaf coffee. 

And last recipe for today, honey sesame crockpot chicken.  I'm trying to use my crockpot more in an effort to prepare for Baby's arrival.  I think the only sane way to juggle grad school and a newborn AND still being a good wife for hubs is to use the crockpot, or at least make storable meals.  I decided to make this for SIL and BIL and that way, I was helping them out but also (selfishly I guess) preparing dinner for DH and I too.  CRAZY EASY recipe and delish--according to my taste tester.  This does take a whole bottle of honey, though, so be prepared.  We happened to have sesame seeds in the pantry, and I think I will toast them tomorrow before I serve this up for dinner. 

In the theme of pumpkin, I want to leave y'all with a picture of the newest lil' punkin on the block! My darling niece, Elyse Adela.  My SILs took newborn pics of her yesterday. Isn't she just perfect?!

And my punkin, 23 weeks (my arm is not this big in person...must remind myself to STOP posing with arm like that!) And yes, still rockin' the heels.




On my way to a friend's wedding



 

A post full of pictures and recipes

As promised, I said I would post some pics of our new house and my new kitchen forays. 

First, the recipes. 

For our first morning in our new home, I made pumpkin pancakes with homemade cinnamon syrup. YUM! One of my college roommates shared this recipe and it is amazing. 











Dinner #1 (no pics of this--sorry!) roasted chicken with fennel. Also wonderful, followed by Dinner #2, Pioneer Woman enchiladas, but I think I've posted that recipe before.  Oh well, here it is again.  I made these for SIL and BIL and new baby Elyse, but the recipe was enough for DH and I to have dinner as well.

And last but not least, I prepared acorn squash as a side dish for Dinner #3.  Also by Pioneer Woman, also amazing (but not very healthy).

Onto the Pinterest project.  I love Pinterest but rarely have time to do anything with my pins.  With my new closet, I knew I wanted a jewelry area.  I don't wear much jewelry, but I thought maybe if I could see all of my accessories I would make more use of them.  So, I made a jewelry hanger.  The greatest difficulty here is twisting in the little screw things.  My fingers were sore for two days.  The directions I've linked here are wonderful.  I did not spray paint mine as I liked the color of the wood.  Also, I suggest making holes with a hammer and a nail before you try and screw in the hooks.  WAY easier.  She also suggests doing this with a glass of wine, which I would have if I was drinking.  If I ever do this again, I would look for a bigger silverware tray as it would hold bigger necklaces better.  All in all, I'm thrilled with it, though!



close up so you can see all the hooks

  

my little jewelry corner. I'm so happy

Now for the pics of our new home.  I will only post the best ones. I think I'm starting to learn to use my camera better! I'm kind of obsessed with my fall decorations, so you have more of those than you do of the house.


mantel



love my huge kitchen, minus the white appliances





backyard and puppy dog

  

Baby Boy's room! The middle owls are from my BFF's trip to Thailand; the monkey is from my trip to Prague, and the carousel is from a Greek family friend who passed away last year




pumpkin on candle holder

 

look through from living room to kitchen, complete with my favorite pendant light


 

more fall



I was very excited to organize my scarves like this

 

entry to house





Well hello there blog life!

Hi to all of you lovely ladies! I haves missed my time in blog land.  I have been keeping up with everyone on my phone but my commenting has been lacking lately, as has my participation in Jenn's October Writing Prompts!  So I will catch up with those here, fast and furiously.  Tonight I plan on posting pics of what I've been up to over the past week--moving, pinterest project (I LOVE THIS and can't wait to share it!), cooking in my new kitchen (recipes coming!), decorating for fall...and oh yeah, growing a baby. 

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October 11: If you could change one thing about your personal appearance, what would it be and why?
I would change my legs.  For as long as I can remember, I've had "soccer" legs.  They're shapely but definitely muscular and were awesome for hip checking other players on the field.  I'm only 5'4" and have a long torso, so I'd like my legs longer too. But honestly, I'm pretty happy with myself overall.  It's taken me a long time to accept this, but I love working out and love that a good routine makes my body look and feel good.


October 12: If you could change on thing about your personality, what would it be and why.
Probably my desire for control, at least some of the time. In true control, type-A personality fashion, I wouldn't want to give up ALL of my control freakness, just a little bit.  Like when I told DH the boys could come over on Saturday as long as he cleans up after them...He looked at me and said, "I've been so good about cleaning up; why would you feel the need to ask me that?"  Or, how I almost asked him to put the dishes in the dishwasher last night even though I thought he was going to do that anyway.  I'd give up this flaw in a minute.

October 13: What is the one thing you like best about yourself?
I love my nose.  Seriously, LOVE.  I loved my nose before I ever "met" Anne Shirley and then afterwards, I loved my nose even more.  No one in my family has my nose.  I'm a "nose person," so I'm pretty sure that I will look at Baby Boy's nose first thing when I see him. 

October 14: What is the greatest compliment you ever received?
You know, I'm not sure if I can answer this.  I usually push away compliments or turn them back on the giver, so I'm kind of horrible at remembering them.  I would say one of the best compliments I can kind of remember is being praised for my professionalism and public speaking.  Not a very good answer, I know.

October 15: If you could go back in time, what decade would you choose to live in?
Love this question! I would live turn of the century (late 1800s, early 1900s) and of course, I'd have to be wealthy to do so.  I fancy myself wearing petticoats and being courted by suitors in tails and top hats. 

October 16: A little TMI? Share something you never thought you would ever post on the internet.
Well I feel like we're pretty open here considering we talk about our cycles, but...I guess something random and weird about me is that I blow my nose every time after I wash my face or get out of the shower.  Not very scintillating, but odd.

October 17: How would you describe your personal style?
Right now, my style is trying not to look like a blimp in maternity clothes.  Typically, my style is classic with a modern twist.  I love fashion, especially shoes, but I try to buy pieces that I can wear for a long time and spice up with trends of the season.  My shoes are my babies.  I found a pair of gorgeous BCBG calf hair pumps that I bought last season and that can't wear this season because the have a a 5 1/2 inch heel :( I will wear heels as long as  I can, but even I have to draw the line somewhere.  Swelling feet and really high heels are just not a good combo. I also have a problem getting rid of clothes.  I'm hesitant to give something away that I may want to wear again at some point in my life.


October 18: Make an acrostic of your first name (or pseudonym) using each letter to describe yourself.
J--jovial (at the thought of our new house)
B--blessed

J is a really hard letter :( Unless you're a jokester which I'm not

Remembering

Pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day is today. In remembrance of our Malachi, we lit a candle this morning. I also unpacked the few little things people bought for Malachi before we knew we would never hold him in our arms. I put these items in his future brother's closet, but I will always remember that they belonged to Malachi. Always in our hearts.

Popping in

I'm sorely behind now in Jenn's writing prompts :( I will catch up, but until then a brief update...

• My niece, Elyse Adela, made her appearance around 8 pm last night.  My SIL is very, very tiny, and after being in labor for about 20 hours and pushing for about 4 hours, it was clear that baby Elyse was too big for momma.  SIL had to have a c-section.  Baby Elyse is perfect and beautiful! She's a little bruised on her forehead from momma trying so darn hard to push her out, but other than that, everyone is doing wonderfully.  I'm going to visit after work today and once I get the internet hooked up at our new house, I'll post pics.
• That's right, NEW HOUSE! The house gods finally turned in our favor and we are homeowners after 7 months of being vagabonds!!! We couldn't be happier.  We started moving stuff from my parent's house to our new house yesterday.  DH is off work today, so by the time I get there (after work and baby visit) we will have some furniture in the house! Movers tomorrow and shopping day on Sunday.
• Speaking of Sunday, that's when my first midterm is due. As if there weren't enough going on.
• And another midterm due on Thursday. Thank goodness I'm taking off work on Monday and Tuesday! Tuesday I'm making dinner for SIL. AMAZING ground beef enchiladas, Pioneer Woman style.  I've linked them because they are just that good.  And I'm finally going to have my own kitchen again! Kitchen unpacking is priority number one on our list.

I will post pics hopefully on Sunday night :) We are just so thrilled to have a home and a new little niece!

And in baby news...Baby Boy is 22 weeks today :) He's a freakin foot long! (cue annoying Subway "Five Dollar Foot Long" song in the back of my head)

My biggest fear

Firstly...Baby Elyse will be here tomorrow! I hope to post a pic of my beautiful niece tomorrow.  We are also closing on our house tomorrow, so 10/11/12 will be a very busy day!

Jenn's Writing Prompt Today: What do you fear most?

• The easy list: cockroaches crawling all over me, my parents dying, being in a life-or-death survival situation and not knowing how to survive. 
• The weird thing I fear: pieces of a plane or a plane crashing into me.  This features commonly in my nightmares.  I watched that movie "Donnie Darko" a hundred years ago and I guess this stuck with me.  I used to run by a small airport and would freak out every time the planes took off. 
• My absolute greatest fear: losing my baby, or maybe I should say losing another baby.  As much as I know I shouldn't, I think about what I would do if Baby Boy never existed in my arms.  I don't believe I could go through that and come out ok.  I think I would lose all desire to be myself, all desire to ever have children.  To go through the grief of losing another child would be too much to bear.  I think I'm a strong person, but I fear that I wouldn't be strong enough to handle this.  I fear that this would destroy my marriage and my relationships, especially with my friends or family who have children. 

It's an odd sensation to put your fear on paper.  The crazy that exists in my head becomes a reality when written down.  I wonder if I re-read my blog in a few years if this fear will have changed. 

And finally, if someone knows your greatest fear, do you believe this is the greatest power they can have over you?

Realities

Happy 100th post to me! YAY! I seriously can't believe this is 100.  I never realized how wonderful and supportive this blog and community would be when I started.  I look forward to reading and commenting, and I feel as if I have made so many friends.

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So I couldn't think of a clever or non-depressing title for this post.  My heart is heavy this morning.  I learned last night that one of my friends/old co-workers has been diagnosed with blighted ovum.  Her D&C is this morning.  I had seen her on Friday night and she told me she was pregnant but her levels weren't matching her expected 6 weeks pregnant.  She had an ultrasound yesterday and sure enough, empty sac.  I'm just heartbroken for her.  She's 35 (so AMA) and she has a four year old, so they are trying for their second child.  Getting pregnant with her son was not easy, so she was shocked when they got pregnant this time after only 7 months.  I know there's nothing I can say or do that lessens the heartache of the situation.  I empathize so keenly with her.  Tears come to my eyes thinking/remembering what she's going through.

On the more upbeat side...my SIL is being induced tomorrow (Wed.) at 10pm!  We are hoping to have a niece early Thursday morning, 10-11-12.  What a cool date on which to be born! I am so excited for her and for the fact that she's doing all this before me and can fill me in on all the dirty details.  It's going to be so weird to see her NOT pregnant!

Placing these two things side by side--someone's loss against someone's pure joy--makes the reality of the miracle of life that much more poignant.  We know all too well how great of a miracle new life is.

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And Jenn's Writing Prompt for the day...If given the choice, how would you choose to die?

Peacefully in my sleep with my kids and my husband by my side. 

October 8: My dream profession

Good morning all. It's Columbus Day and I'm at work.  I'd rather be home sleeping but that's not how life works, unfortunately.  A few quick updates before the writing challenge for today...

Thing 1: Baby Boy has decided to have baby parties in my belly about once a day, and I LOVE it.  He's pretty quiet most of the day, but around mid-afternoon or late evening, he decides it's time to salsa. I'm pretty sure he's turning barrel rolls in there, at least that's what it feels like.  DH can't feel him yet, but hopefully soon. 

Thing 2: We close on our house this week! Yes, I'm sure I'm the girl who's cried house since we've been in this situation 2 times since April, but this one is it.  There's really nothing holding us back from closing and MOVING this weekend!!!!  I am so excited I can just taste it.  Coffee on the porch at my own house this weekend? Walking around without a bra because I don't live with anyone else? QUIET time when I get home from work? Seriously--you miss the little things after 7 months of living with parents and in-laws. I will bust out fancy camera and post pics of our new home this weekend, or after I unpack the boxes and we have internet :)

Thing 3: my wonderful dad (who is a contractor) helped me sketch out our nursery this weekend! I'm hoping the nursery will be finished by late November/early December, and I can't wait to post pics.  Thanks to one of my bffs (S) and pinterest, I know exactly what I want Baby Boy's nursery to look like.  DH approved my crib choice this weekend--isn't it beautiful--so hopefully the purchase of crib and dresser (which will double as changing table) will be forthcoming. 

Thing 4: Today we will find out when my little niece will be here!  I'm betting that SIL is induced tomorrow.  Just a guess :)  We can't wait to meet our little Elyse Adela!

And now for Jenn's Writing Prompt, October 8: If you could have any job in the whole wide world regardless of your qualifications, what would you choose and why? 

If I could do anything for a living, I would want to be an event planner.  I love to decorate and I thrive on organization and planning.  I would love to have access to people's endless amounts of money to make their dream events come true.  I would, of course, event plan for very rich people only so that I could be as magical and creative as possible.  I would have the best florists and bakers on speed dial, and my clients would invite me to their fabulous parties.  Ah, that would be the life. 

October 6 and 7

First and foremost: my SIL is home with no baby yet :) We're expecting an induce date tomorrow! I will most likely have a niece this week!!

Now, on to the less important but still very exciting updates.  Jenn's October Writing Prompts!

October 6: Current Favorite Band

Well, I hate to admit, but I'm not much of a music guru.  I've never really bought a lot of CDs, and when I was young, I don't really remember listening to the radio at all.  The only thing I remember listening to in the car was my mom's Dirty Dancing soundtrack.  I had a little white tape deck as well and I owned Paula Abdul and Garth Brooks tapes, but other than this, there's not a lot of music I associate with my childhood.  Even now, I listen to the radio, and I listen to country music, but I don't have a particular favorite.  I enjoy Blake Shelton, but when push comes to shove, I'm much more of an old music fogey.  I love classic rock, and my dream concert is Billy Joel and Elton John.  So as to a current band, not many :)

October 7: If you could sleep with one celebrity who would it be?

Ed Westwick, hands down.  I am such a good girl and I always have been, so I think there's something about his bad boy appeal that is chillingly sexy.  I love his character on Gossip Girl, and I'm ashamed to admit that he's definitely been in a couple of my dreams.  Also, I'm a sucker for a man with an accent.  (sorry DH, you know it's true).  I swear he could just look at me with those smoldering eyes and I would end up in bed with him.  Honorable mention would also go to Chace Crawford and Daniel Craig.  This question reminds me of Seinfeld and Friends, both shows where characters have created a list of "allowed to sleep with" people. I love me some 90s sitcoms!

Ok edit: After reading Em's post, I felt that I had not done mine justice at all.  And please, go read her post. It's awesome :) Thanks for bringing these beauitful men back to my memory, Em!

I do have to amend my list to include (in no particular order) Brad Pitt (with the abs from Fight Club), Christian Bale (as Laurie in Little Women), the boy who played Gilbert in the first two Anne of Green Gables films, Chris Noth (Mr. Big, in all his evil goodness).  Oh, and maybe (if I'm in a pinch) Hugh Grant (Love Actually) because I really do love a boy with an accent. 

Please send positive thoughts and prayers...

My SIL (38 weeks) was just admitted to the hospital for high BP and heart rate.  Dr. N (yes, we see the same dr) told her yesterday she was at high risk for preeclampsia.  She was scheduled to be induced on 10/16 so obviously having the baby today wouldn't be a bad thing, but under the stressful conditions, I think she's very nervous.  T

Please send positive thoughts and prayers her way.  At best/worst, I'll have pictures of a beautiful little niece to post tomorrow :)

October 5: Favorite Book

Jenn's Writing Prompt today: Your favorite book:

To ask an English major her favorite book is like asking a mother to choose her favorite child.  How in the world can I choose just one?!  So, I will subdivide books into categories and choose from there.

Favorite Classic: I love southern literature maven Eudora Welty's Delta Wedding.  I wrote my senior thesis on this book.  Honorable mention: The Great Gatsby, The Awakening (and I could probably add a hundred others to this list!)

Favorite Book from Growing Up: Little Women and all of the Anne of Green Gables books.  I still pick these up and read them from time to time, and no, there is absolutely no way to choose between the two.  Honorable mention: Ramona Quimby

Favorite Young Adult/I-can't-believe-I'm-reading-this Book: I preface these choices by saying, please don't judge me!  Twilight and Hunger Games.  I love them, in all their sappy, mushy teenage angst glory.  This is escapist literature and I'm not ashamed! (ok, I'm a little ashamed).  I will say that I prefer the books to any movie made.  Honorable mention: Searching for Alaska, Unwind.

Current Favorite: Game of Thrones series, anything by Jennifer Weiner (who DH respectful refers to as the Weiner books).  If you have a best friend, I encourage you to read Best Friends by Martha Moody. I loved this book and had my bff read it after me because I felt like we could relate to these characters. 

I'm sure I've left several books I adore off of this list. I'm a very fast reader, so sometimes I forget what I read.  I also sometimes refuse to see movies based on books because I can't take the disappointment :)

I'm excited to see everyone's choices!

October 3: most embarrassing moment

Our writing prompt today is your most embarrassing moment...this is a hard prompt for me. I'm very self-conscious so I usually double and triple check myself so that I don't have an embarrassing moment!

A few summers ago, I was attending a week-long teacher inservice at a university in the city.  I'm one of those people who believes that you should always dress nicely for anything related to professional growth because you never know who you're going to meet or who will eventually employ you.  So, true to form, I was wearing a skirt and heels.  I had carpooled with a couple of other ladies from work and we were walking from our car to the campus, probably about a half mile to three quarters of a mile walk.  We were almost to our classroom when someone came up to me and said excuse me? Your skirt is tucked into your underwear. 

Sure enough, my white skirt was tucked into my white boy short underwear. Thank GOODNESS I had not worn a thong that day! No butt cheek exposure, but I'm pretty sure anyone and everyone behind me got a good look and a good laugh.  The ultimate question, though: WHY did it take me about half a mile before anyone said anything to me!!??  I will never understand :)

Extreme Makeover, Blog Edition

Hello lovely darlings! BB (Bickerstaff Blog) just got a makeover! I was inspired by several of you out there who just changed your layouts.

What do you think? Easy to read and follow?  And...are any of you tech/HTML code savvy enough to know how to make my right hand column wider?

Have a lovely day! Fall weather makes me SO happy!

New Challenge!

Em Hart's Photo Challenge is over and I am a little sad, given that she gave me a reason to blog every day, which I LOVE doing.  Blogging is a lovely break from my crazy, hectic schedule.  I saw on two other blogs, though, that Jenn at Future Fords was hosting an October daily writing prompt challenge! YAY! I love to write, and I feel like if I write, I'm therefore allowed to read what others write about themselves. I love getting glimpses into y'alls lives and I love sharing these tidbits with DH :)

I just signed up today, so I will start with October 2 prompt. 

How did your husband propose?

Mine is two part: part 1--how he was supposed to propose...on a gorgeous mountaintop in S. Carolina while we were on vacation.  The ring didn't arrive in time for our trip. I thought he was going to propose that whole time, so I spent a lot of the trip angry at him (oh how young I was!)

Part 2: the real proposal.  He came over to my parent's house after work. (both of us were still living at home).  I had been swimming and of course, looked like crap, and I came inside to get him his swimsuit and his towel.  When I came back out from the mudroom, he was telling our puppy to go find her mommy.  We had just gotten Callie and she was about 3 months old.  So he sent the dog over to me, and though I didn't see it at first, my engagement ring was on her collar! Just precious.  So--with my mom standing in the kitchen--he told me that I was his first kiss (BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL!) and he wanted me to be his last.  I accepted without hesitation.  We ended the evening with several bottles of Veuve Clicquot (my fav champagne) in the hot tub, and Callie managed to break two of mom's champagne flutes in the celebration process. 


with the ring bearer. I look at this and can't believe she was ever that tiny



I look at this and think, WOW we were such babies!!!! DH makes that face all the time.

I didn't have the idyllic proposal where I looked gorgeous in a beautiful location, but still, I will never ever forget it!

The Case of the Missing Baby

Post 2 today! Woohoo! I promised I'd write about a rather harrowing experience I had last Friday, so I'm sure you were all waiting, and here you go.

Last Friday morning, I was standing in chapel when I started to feel what I thought was the beginning of a UTI.  I tried to put the thought out of my head, considering I'd been for my 20 week check up on Tuesday and then back to hear the heartbeat on Thursday.  I didn't want to bother my doctor again.  But, as I stood there, the sharp pains started to increase. I went back to my office, called DH, called mom, and called Dr. N.  My nurse told me to come in and give a urine sample.  At this point, I was already nervous and upset. 

I work 5 minutes away from my Dr, so really, this was no big deal.  I went in, peed in a cup, and proceeded to be told that yes indeed, I had the beginnings of a UTI.  My wonderful nurse said she'd listen to Baby Boy's heartbeat as well.  As she pushed the doppler around my tummy, we heard nothing.  NOTHING. She changed the batteries.  Still nothing.  I could tell she was getting nervous because she was trying to distract me.  She sent immediately for Dr. N.  At this point, I knew I was going to miss my class.  I called work, filled the sub lady in on what was going on, and got my class covered. 

Dr. N. wheels in the ultrasound machine.  I'm eerily calm at this point (I didn't know that a whole room of people had gathered to pray for me, or that two of my fellow administrators were on their way to take care of me at this moment).  DH was walking with the dog, so I couldn't get a hold of him which was probably the worst part of all this.  Dr. N. told me that we wouldn't get a good picture on that particular ultrasound machine--I didn't care. I just wanted to see the heartbeat. 

Sure enough, heart looked perfect.  Dr. N. grabbed the doppler afterwards and found his heartbeat immediately, 150 bpm.  She said heart looks and sounds great.  Apparently, Baby Boy was just hiding.  Stubborn, just like his father.  He's already stressing me out and he's not even born yet!

Needless to say, I didn't return to work that day.  I met my office mates at the elevator downstairs and broke into tears.  DH finally called when I was walking back to my car; I broke into tears again.  I love this baby so much already and can't imagine anything happening to him.  The thought of it scares me to death.  He apologized for the scare with two big kicks Saturday morning, but he's been pretty quiet since then.  I'm trying not to read anything into this; it's still early and my stupid anterior placenta is making movement hard to feel. 

I wish I was one of those pregnant ladies who was just pregnant and didn't over analyze everything!  I'm sure I'll be going to the Dr to hear Baby Boy's heartbeat this week.  If the darn kid would just kick me, I would feel much better. Maybe  I should sing him a rendition of Britney Spears..."Kick Me Baby One More Time" anyone?

Moon

It's October 1 and my photo was supposed to be on September 30.  But, the moon is still out right now so maybe that makes my lateness ok.  Thanks SO MUCH to Em Hart's Photo Challenge for making me take more pictures and for allowing me to see what wonderful photographers my blog friends are.  I can't wait to get better at taking pictures.

I waited for the moon to come out last night so I could take this picture.  It's not with my fancy new camera because I didn't feel like having to transfer the pic to the computer at 10pm last night.  The moon was beautiful, just a little dented on the upper right side, as if someone dropped him on his head when he was little.

My own "moon" seems to be growing quite nicely.  Baby Boy gave us quite a scare last Friday. I'll write about that later.  I was out of work on Friday with a bladder infection, so right now, I'm off to play catch up and prep for class today. 



I wouldn't normally wear a short, skinny top with skinny jeans,
but DH said that this shirt showed off my bump better.