Is this real life?

I'm sitting at work, currently icing my finger that may or may not be broken.  I probably shouldn't have done an hour of hardcore pilates with it hurting last night. Oops.

Daniel has been waking up screaming at the top of his lungs at least once a night.  He's almost 3. This is wake-up frequency circa 8 weeks old.  He also wet his pants last night, the first time he's ever done that and he's been potty trained since August.

Cam chugs along pretty smoothly, until he decides that 5 is a FABULOUS wake up time. With daycare trying to transition him to one nap...who knows how this night will look.

Hubs took a new position at work.  This means: late nights, early mornings, grumpy hubs.  But it also means job stability, so I'll take it.

I had 3 cups of coffee this morning. THREE. And I still feel like I need more. And least you think 3 cups is not much, my mug is the size of a small bowl, because really, who drinks coffee from a small mug?!

I gave Daniel Cameron's breakfast this morning just to keep him from having a temper tantrum. Sorry, Cam, you got the crappy pancakes.

I wish there were a diet that consisted of chocolate and wine, and that it would somehow help me train for the half marathon in January for which I have lost ALL motivation.

My baby turns ONE in 2 weeks. How is this possible?

#MicroblogMondays 67: Remembrance

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is?Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too

Four years ago, Malachi grew his wings. Four years ago, I was 7 weeks pregnant and then, not pregnant.

In some ways, it feels like a lifetime ago.  But then I can still remember how I felt at each moment during that hellish week.

I can't imagine my life without the boys I have now, but there will always be a spot in my heart for my Malachi.

Sweet Malachi, would you look like Daniel? Would you be rambunctious like him, or would you be happy-go-lucky like Cameron? Would you have your daddy's eyes and your momma's nose like both of your brothers? I'm sad that I never got to meet you, that I never got to squish you in my arms, that I never got to rock you to sleep and smell your sweet baby smell.  Every time I see your Christmas ornament on our tree, I can't help but wonder.

Thank you for making me a momma that first time.

Forever in my heart, MEB.