Moon

It's October 1 and my photo was supposed to be on September 30.  But, the moon is still out right now so maybe that makes my lateness ok.  Thanks SO MUCH to Em Hart's Photo Challenge for making me take more pictures and for allowing me to see what wonderful photographers my blog friends are.  I can't wait to get better at taking pictures.

I waited for the moon to come out last night so I could take this picture.  It's not with my fancy new camera because I didn't feel like having to transfer the pic to the computer at 10pm last night.  The moon was beautiful, just a little dented on the upper right side, as if someone dropped him on his head when he was little.

My own "moon" seems to be growing quite nicely.  Baby Boy gave us quite a scare last Friday. I'll write about that later.  I was out of work on Friday with a bladder infection, so right now, I'm off to play catch up and prep for class today. 



I wouldn't normally wear a short, skinny top with skinny jeans,
but DH said that this shirt showed off my bump better.



The end of September

Catching up for Em's Photo Challenge

Indian Summer.  One of my favorite episodes of Sex and the City, "I Heart NY," mentions Indian Summer. Carrie says she loves that first night in fall when it's cool enough outside to pull up a blanket.  That's what I always think of when I think of Indian Summer.  When I was little, I always knew it was fall when my mom would pull out the thick blankets from the cedar chest.  I relished going to sleep on those evenings, smelling the fragrant cedar.  The cedar chest has been handed down to me, but since we are vagabonds and the chest is in storage, my picture is simply of a comfy blanket, marking the end of summer and the beginning of fall.

Hope--my dad's fall garden



Harvest. I thought this tree embodied the feeling of harvest with the colors of autumn

AND all these pics are with my new camera. I'm by no means an extraordinary photographer, but I do like the editing functions.  I feel like it's going to take me a while to be able to take WOW photos, and maybe I won't ever be able to.  Any tips y'all would be willing to share would be appreciated. 





Apple [photo challenge]

I'm a teacher who doesn't have an apple readily accessible. Such a crime!  However,  I did buy DH some amazing apples this past weekend.  If you haven't tried a Honeycrisp apple before, I suggest that you hop on your bike/a train/a plane/a car and go buy some immediately.  These are the best apples I've ever tasted, but they're only in season late September through about December.  And these apples are steroid-taking apple size.  Unfortunately, so is their price tag, at least early in the season.  I paid a disgusting $4 a pound for them last week (only organic were available), but I knew DH would love them.  The numerous emails he's sent me this week raving about the apples justify the hit to my bank account.  Let me clarify just how huge these apples are: $4 a pound for 3 apples = $8.31 total. disgusting, I know. 

BUT, he ate all the apples before I could get a picture of them, so here's a picture of a Honeycrisp apple.

Looks like an unassuming, normal apple.  until you bite into it. Just wait for flavor heaven. 
Borrowed ethically from wpclipart.com

Now GO, buy these apples, and enjoy. And by the way, they make a decadent apple pie, but you'll have to wait until November for pictures of my homemade pies :)

Catching Up...Cozy [photo challenge]

We're on Day 26 of Em Hart's Photo Challenge! I knew all day yesterday what I wanted to feature for COZY, but I hadn't gotten around to posting it. 

In the way of introductions, I'm obsessed with Food Network.  I will almost always choose to watch this channel over anything else on TV, even when working out at the gym.  I realize watching food while trying to burn calories is odd, but I guess I see what I'm allowed to eat since I'm working out.  I was finishing my workout last Saturday, watching the Barefoot Contessa, when I saw this amazing winter soup (in the same episode with homemade marshmallows which are on my agenda to try once I have my own kitchen again).  I had to try it.  Funny enough, my mom said to me the next day that she wanted to make pumpkin soup this week and I said, well let's make Ina's soup!!  For those of you not obsessed with Food TV personalities, Ina Garten is the Barefoot Contessa.  And make soup we did.  It was unbelievable.  I'm linking the recipe below in case anyone wants to try their hand at it.  We don't have a food mill, so we just used a food processor and the soup still turned out beautifully.  Bona note: make the croutons. Do it. 

And to COZY now...I walked into the house after my workout yesterday and was enveloped by the beautiful smell of fall cooking on the stove: the soup.  My mom was making this wonderful concoction in a big, ivory dutch oven on the stove.  Ahhhh, soup is cozy, even when the temperatures outside don't even necessitate  a long-sleeved shirt yet.



Link to recipe: YUM YUM YUM



UN Balanced

Today's photo challenge is balance. Let's just be clear: I am not good at finding balance. I take on way too many things because I believe (sometimes incorrectly) that I am super woman.  When I was in the trenches of surgery after surgery with no TTC action in sight, I submitted my application to grad school.  Got accepted.  We decided to sell our house and move.  Sold house in three weeks, still have no permanent house. I was asked to take the head position in the English department at school alongside my current administrative position. Accepted position. And then, lo and behold, Dr. W's magic worked and POOF, baby.  (ok, I guess it was a little more difficult that poof)

How in the freaking world do I balance teaching AP students, heading an English department, managing all of the curriculum (yes, K-12 every subject) for my school, studying for grad school AND a baby? Oh wait, not to mention a new house with two storage areas of boxes to be unpacked...yeah, I have no flipping idea.  But everything always gets done, even though I'm not sure how.  The crazy woman has As in grad school so far, and no teachers in her department have resigned yet.  It's Sunday, and I'm about to leave to watch football with my favorite people, so I guess I've found some way to balance at least a few things so that I can have time to myself. 

I thought a picture of our "storage area" at my parent's house would be a good indication of my lack of balance.

UN balanced

And...in other news...we bought a camera yesterday! I've been so impressed with all the photos from photo challenge that I thought it was time to upgrade from my iPhone camera.  We got a Canon Rebel! So excited to learn how to take beautiful photos with this camera.

Autumn?

I'm having a lovely ICLW so far! L at Tiny Bits of Hope wrote a beautiful post about memories and how we change through loss and/or treatments.  Stop by and read it.

Today's photo challenge is autumn.  Autumn is my absolute favorite season.  The crisp morning air, football, afternoon naps with the windows open...I can just feel it.  Unfortunately, autumn doesn't exist here until oh, mid October.  We've had some nice mornings recently, but the heat always returns.  One of my favorite ways to celebrate autumn started in college.  My roomates and I would brew huge pots of delicious coffee (coffee you can only get in Maryland!) and wrap up in blankets and sit outside.  Sometimes we "rebels" would smoke flavored cigarettes.  I laugh thinking of that because none of us are/were smokers at all! I've always been one who associates smells and feelings with memories.  I could walk outside and think, this feels like a Christmas day, or this feels like a fall day, in the middle of any season.  I love that we are capable of having vivid memories; I guess this is also something to hate, when we can have vivid memories of something painful.



Our morning coffee, enjoying the cool in the air

  

Peace, and WELCOME ICLW!

Hoping all of you out there find some peace today in any way you can!

If you're here from ICLW, welcome! After "sitting out" 2 months from ICLW, I'm back and ready to comment.  We're 21 days in to Em's Photo Challenge, so if you're browsing my blog, that's the reason for all of the pictures, some beautiful, some inane. 

The BRIEF rundown...after TTC for a year, a miscarriage at 7w, a chemical pregnancy, rounds and rounds of hormone therapy, and 3 surgeries to remove a very stubborn septum from my uterus, I am currently expecting my first baby in February.  This blog started as a way for me to cope with loss and facing TTC in a world where everyone seems (including my sister-in-law) to get pregnant just looking at each other.  I have met the most AMAZING women in the blogosphere and I know that I wouldn't have gotten through the rough spots without them.  I'm still coping with the loss of my dear Malachi, and it's a slow process to learn how to let go and have trust now that I am pregnant.  I spend a lot of time thinking about the "what-ifs."  This blog has become a way to put my "crazy" on display; at least in this space I find women willing to be crazy with me.  Welcome to my little corner, and I look forward to meeting some new people over the next week.

In response to Em's Photo Challenge for today...peace


Nature and my favorite boy--both things that bring me peace



Treasure [photo challenge]

I treasure so much in my life that it was hard to choose one thing for a picture.  I thought first of my wedding ring and engagement ring, something I treasure more than anything in my life because of what it represents, and of course, because of its beauty.  I treasure my husband and my family and my wonderful dog.  But what I treasure most right now...our little boy. 

I've refrained from posting belly pics for several reasons, but I thought that maybe I would share one with y'all for the photo challenge.  This is my 18wk "bump," holding the most beautiful treasure I could ever ask for.  These treasures are even more precious when we think of what we go through to get them.  No pirate ever had an easy treasure hunt. Heck, where's the challenge in that? If treasure was easily acquired, it would not be treasure. 


Em Hart's Photo Challenge, #19

As a follow up to yesterday's post/photo prompt ... I went to hear Baby Boy's HB yesterday because he still won't kick me and while I was standing in the hall waiting for the nurse to get back from lunch, a lady looked over at me and said "Excuse me, but you really shouldn't be wearing heels." EXCUSE ME?! Seriously, she told me that. She told me she didn't wear heels when she was pregnant and that I should be careful. Well, it's not like I'm running in heels carrying 50 pound boxes. I told her that I've worn heels every day for the past eight years, and that until Dr. N. tells me not to, I will continue to wear heels.  Sheesh. Unsolicited advice, 0.  JB, 1 :)

Fashion [photo challenge]

In another life where I'm six inches taller and 20 pounds lighter, I would like to be a runway models, not for their stick-skinniness or pouty faces but because they get to wear all those gorgeous fashions.  Recently there was a spectacular Carolina Herrera dress from Spring 2013 pinned on Pinterest. In my fantasy world, I would have called the designer and had that dress shipped to my house, much like the Vivienne Westwood gown in the SATC movie.  Sadly, I am just a measly 5'4" school teacher, so I will continue to live vicariously through the models on America's Next Top Model and the beautiful girls on Gossip Girl.  (please don't judge my guilty pleasure TV shows). 

I am not a fashion risk-taker, however. I would call my style classic with a twist--I try to incorporate something about current fashion into a very classic, polished style.  Unfortunately, maternity fashion leaves MUCH to be desired, but I'm trying.  I refuse to be fashionless for nine months.  My feet, though, will not suffer. I have an unhealthy obsession with shoes, particularly boots and just a gorgeous, well-made pair of shoes.  Half of my shoes are in storage right now, and I still have a good...oh 25 pair or more traveling with me.  Like I said, unhealthy. 

As I thought about the prompt today, I knew I had to show off my shoes.  Now, it's very hard to get a good picture of shoes when one is sitting in an office waiting for a student to show up.  Legs on desk...no...and getting legs off desk ends ungracefully. Shoes against ugly blue carpet...well, I guess it has to work.  These aren't my favorite shoes, but how can one go wrong with timeless black peep toes, 4.5 inch heel?   My legs really aren't orange, but the sock tan is very real.


Ahhh....shoes

 People have told me that I will have to stop wearing heels because of the baby. Come on people. My shoes are part of me. I'll agree to wear a wedge or a slightly shorter heel, but don't count on too much more.  Unless of course the dr tells me I have to stop, and in that case, I'll listen. 

OH and for the record, my outfit is actually pretty darn cute today :) I just have no one to take a photo of it.

New and Garden [photo challenge]

First and foremost, CONGRATS to Court at Pathway to Parenthood and L at Tiny Bits of Hope for their amazing news!!!! I couldn't be happier for y'all.

And on to Em's Photo Challenge.  I'm missing Saturday's prompt, "Alice in Wonderland," but I'm waiting for inspiration for that one.  In the meantime, today's prompt is GARDEN.  At our old house, DH kept the most beautiful garden.  Last summer, we had probably about 300 pounds of tomatoes.  I kept and herb garden as well, but this garden is definitely more stunning.  I can't wait till he has room to garden again.


Beautiful garden

 Yesterday's prompt was NEW.  This is the piggy bank my principal gave me last week when we found out we're having a boy. So precious! I could really label this whole experience as "new," but I don't think there's a photo for that :)

Grain [photo challenge]

I love carbs, and to me, grains means carbs.  I mean, I have a love/hate relationship with carbs, or at least I did before Baby Boy popped into the scene.  The only time I guiltlessly ate carbs was before a long run.  One of my favorite GRAINS (per today's photo challenge) is arborio rice, more commonly known as the rice that turns into the amazingness that is risotto.  I had the pleasure of living with three chefs-in-training in college who are now the most amazing chefs ever.  The meals they create on weeknights make my meals look like fast food.  And I think I'm a decent cook. 

Anyway, one of the girls shared her recipe for easy risotto. Seriously, easiest risotto ever.  No pot-watching or boiling-water-filled-ladles involved!  One of the best things is that this risotto is a blank slate for other flavors.


Easy risotto, for dear Em Hart's Photo Challenge


I'd be willing to post the recipe if people want it :)

Blue

In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, "you have a teeny tiny penis growing inside of you!"

Run [photo challenge]



walking shoes not fulfilling their true purpose as running shoes


I am a runner.  I have run 4 half marathons and a full marathon, and I plan on training again for at least a half marathon post-baby.  When we had our pre-conception meeting in Feb. 2011, Dr. N told me to cut back on the running because I was losing too much body fat.  So as if I thought I'd get pregnant right away (ha.ha.ha) I cut back.  Since then, I probably only averaged 12-15 miles a week.  After each of my surgeries, December through March, I wasn't allowed to excercise, so my running tapered off.  Now, if I run, I think I will fall forward flat on my face.  My body feels off balance, and I've definitely lost my stride.  However, I am still a runner.  I love the first run in the cool fall mornings; I love watching the world wake up on an early morning jog; I love the feeling I get when I sit down to stretch and take off my shoes.  One of my greatest accomplishments in life is crossing the finish line of the marathon. If my favorite running shoes weren't stowed somewhere amidst the two storage areas and countless boxes, I would've taken a picture of those, but these, my current "running" shoes, have been downgraded to walking shoes. You'll notice my bare feet in the pic, as my shoes got no action yesterday.

Honey and Morning [photo challenge]

Honey and morning are two words that just sound so beautiful together.   


My English muffin, smothered in southern honey. 



Dear Em, are these muffins really like the muffins you get in England, or do people just call them that for fun?



Driving to work this morning. What you can't see in this picture is that our temps are in the low 60s after months of near-100 degree weather! What an amazing start to my week.



Truly enjoying Em's photo challenge!  

Golden [photo challenge]

**I talk about babies in this post, if you're in a rough place right now, you may not want to read on**

I'm sitting here typing as our student worship band is practicing for chapel this morning--chapel is my favorite part about being at a private school :) I wish you all could here the voices that are emanating from the auditorium and through my office. What a beautiful way to start my day, and my optimistic post on GOLDEN.

One of my best friends EVER EVER in the whole world, DD, found out she was pregnant about a month ago.  I've blogged about her before, and before that, too. She and her hubs had been TTC for a while (almost a year, and then she had tried for years before that with her exhub), and after a visit with a really, horrible, terrible doctor, she had prepared herself for fertility testing starting in November.  And then came the positive test. 

So my golden picture isn't really GOLD, per say, but to me, it is golden.  There is nothing that can touch the elation I feel at this news.  That, in itself, is golden.  Our baby besties--these are worth more to me than gold, I guess you could say.  And trust me, I know that gold is expensive. My grandma sells her old gold for money.



I don't like this pic of me (on the right) but she sure is adorable!

 The second golden thing in my life right now (for which I don't have a picture)...WE HAVE A HOUSE CONTRACT!!!!!  Our house journey is so metaphorically similar to our fertility journey that it really deserves its own post :) So it's coming. It will be legen....wait for it....dary!

Emotions and a BOOK photo

I was flitting through my blog roll this morning and stumbled across two women who both miscarried at 9 weeks.  I do not "follow" these blogs but was simply clicking through from other blogs I do follow.  In addition to these women I do not know, one of my college girlfriends has now had two losses since January.  All of my emotions from eight months ago came flooding back.  I am always amazed by the poignancy of a feeling, even when far removed from the event.  I remember visibly what it was like to see no flicker, no heartbeat on the screen.  I remember feeling dead inside, like a piece of my heart had been ripped out.  Crying in the shower because at least then it was harder to tell that I had been crying.  Even sitting here typing this makes all those emotions real again. 

My heart breaks for these women.  I know that I am pregnant now, but every single day I am reminded again of what a blessing this is.  Babies aren't "luck" or "mistakes," and for women who think they are, try walking in the shoes of someone who's experienced loss or infertility, or both.  To those of you struggling right now, you're not alone, at least in this community.  No matter how many babies I am blessed with, I will never forget what loss feels like, nor do I want to.  I am part of Malachi and he is part of me, forever, even though I never held him.  "I will never forget you.  See, upon the palms of My hands I have written your name." Isaiah 49:15-16



*****************

So now, on a different note, Em's photo challenge! Today, our prompt was "book." So, here is the book that I am somewhat unfortunately tied to right now.  My Educational Leadership textbook...in all its 40-pages per chapter glory.  This picture cannot compare to the beautiful one that I posted yesterday, unfortunately!



Don't you just love the cover? Oh, and the international edition was cheaper :)



Pure [photo challenge]



Photo taken by DH



School [photo challenge]

Thanks to Em, I'm really enjoying documenting my days :)  DH is also very excited to see my pictures each day which I think is absolutely adorable. 

Today's theme is school which, as a teacher, is a pretty easy prompt for me.  This year, I am teacher, administrator, and student.  I think this picture sums up my life well.  Grading student papers while my own coursework lurks menacingly in the background and the Internet tries to summon me away from both.  DH made this little "cove" for me in my parent's dining room as we currently are homeless and study-less. 



My exciting Labor Day "schooling"

 In other news...we put in an offer on a house yesterday! Cross your fingers, toes, and whatever else you can cross that our offer is accepted, or at least counter-offered at a decent price.   I will be calling Dr. N today as I had some weird "things" going on this weekend, and honestly, I really just want to hear baby's heartbeat again. 

Happy Tuesday everyone!

White [photo challenge]

White is pure and innocent.  In this picture, my white puppy dog was sick.  She knew she didn't feel well and there was nothing she could do about it.  She just looked at me with those big eyes and I felt terrible because there was nothing I could do to make her feel better.  She didn't deserve to be sick. She did nothing wrong, and yet I was powerless to help.



My darling, precious dog curled up on our white comforter.



White.



Fire [photo challenge]

Dad's homegrown peppers