Emotions and a BOOK photo

I was flitting through my blog roll this morning and stumbled across two women who both miscarried at 9 weeks.  I do not "follow" these blogs but was simply clicking through from other blogs I do follow.  In addition to these women I do not know, one of my college girlfriends has now had two losses since January.  All of my emotions from eight months ago came flooding back.  I am always amazed by the poignancy of a feeling, even when far removed from the event.  I remember visibly what it was like to see no flicker, no heartbeat on the screen.  I remember feeling dead inside, like a piece of my heart had been ripped out.  Crying in the shower because at least then it was harder to tell that I had been crying.  Even sitting here typing this makes all those emotions real again. 

My heart breaks for these women.  I know that I am pregnant now, but every single day I am reminded again of what a blessing this is.  Babies aren't "luck" or "mistakes," and for women who think they are, try walking in the shoes of someone who's experienced loss or infertility, or both.  To those of you struggling right now, you're not alone, at least in this community.  No matter how many babies I am blessed with, I will never forget what loss feels like, nor do I want to.  I am part of Malachi and he is part of me, forever, even though I never held him.  "I will never forget you.  See, upon the palms of My hands I have written your name." Isaiah 49:15-16



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So now, on a different note, Em's photo challenge! Today, our prompt was "book." So, here is the book that I am somewhat unfortunately tied to right now.  My Educational Leadership textbook...in all its 40-pages per chapter glory.  This picture cannot compare to the beautiful one that I posted yesterday, unfortunately!



Don't you just love the cover? Oh, and the international edition was cheaper :)