Mommy Vices and Advices

I've been refreshing my news app on my phone incessantly, waiting for news of the Royal Baby.  Like many other Americans, I love the love story of William and Kate, and I am enamored with the royals.  Silly, probably, but I think I've always loved a good love story.  My mom was pregnant with me when Prince William was born, and now I have Daniel who will be exactly five months older than the RB, if he or she is born today.  I told him this morning that he can marry the future princess if he wants, though Sparky and I are not quite rich enough to get royal attention :)

While I love Kate, I also feel deeply sorry for the scrutiny she will endure as a mother.  The news this morning was discussing whether or not she would have an epidural, and the state of her cervix and dilation.  The state of her cervix is of international concern? And that's just the beginning I'm sure. 

Breastfeeding or not breastfeeding. Baby purees or baby-led weaning. Sleep training or no sleep training.  Vaccinate or don't vaccinate.  As "mere mortals" (aka non-royals), new moms deal with these pressures all the time.  People are quick to condemn you if you don't breastfeed.  Now that D has started solids, all I read about is how "baby-lead weaning" is better.  The latest comment: "why would you teach a baby to swallow before you teach him to chew?" Well...doesn't a baby have to swallow after he chews?!  I have to admit, I like the idea of baby-led weaning, but I don't have the time to research and decide if that's what's best for us (plus, I like making baby food).  And believe it or not, I just read about a movement to not diaper. at all. I have no idea how that works.

This endless "advice" or as someone has said "ass-vice" is tiring to a new mom who's trying to do what's best for her child.  Even when I feel like I'm doing a good job being a mom, I can read something or talk to someone and suddenly start second guessing myself.  We start to apologize for our babies, as if they're supposed to be little perfect beings and we are supposed to be perfectly put-together moms all the time.  The more I try to be "perfect," the more I stress out and the more D feels me stress out. 

I don't think it's fair to any mom to scrutinize her parenting.  Parenting is a deeply personal commitment, a belief, almost, and every set of parents are entitled to their own beliefs.  I do not criticize other's parenting choices--what right do I have to do so?  Doing what's best for your child is ultimately the most important thing, and if that means breastfeeding "a boy who's old enough to chew steak" (Miranda, SATC) then so be it. 

My mommy vice: I nap with Daniel in my arms, in the rocker in his nursery.  When he wakes up after only 30 minutes from a nap that should be at least an hour, I pick him up and I rock him and sleep with him for as long as I can.  I tried to let him cry and failed miserably. He gets upset and I get upset and and stressed and it's just a really bad situation.  We don't cry-it-out.  And maybe we never will.  I make no apologies for that.  He will eventually nap longer than 40 minutes without help, and he will also eventually not want me to hold him and cuddle him, so I'll steal those cuddles while I can.

So yes, I'm going to feed my baby purees that I make from organic veggies.  I'm going to use disposable diapers. I'm going to let my son nap in my arms, and I'm going to give him Tylenol when he needs it.  If those are the worst of my mommy vices, then I think I'm doing a pretty darn good job.  I know that the scrutiny Kate will receive comes with the territory of being a Royal, but I hope people remember that she's still human, still a first-time mom, and still deserves to parent without the "ass-vice" of those "who know better."

And on a funnier note: I read a tweet this morning from @professor_snape that said: "If Will is 100% royal and Kate is 0% royal, is the baby a half-blood prince or princess?" Love it :)