My biggest fear

Firstly...Baby Elyse will be here tomorrow! I hope to post a pic of my beautiful niece tomorrow.  We are also closing on our house tomorrow, so 10/11/12 will be a very busy day!

Jenn's Writing Prompt Today: What do you fear most?

• The easy list: cockroaches crawling all over me, my parents dying, being in a life-or-death survival situation and not knowing how to survive. 
• The weird thing I fear: pieces of a plane or a plane crashing into me.  This features commonly in my nightmares.  I watched that movie "Donnie Darko" a hundred years ago and I guess this stuck with me.  I used to run by a small airport and would freak out every time the planes took off. 
• My absolute greatest fear: losing my baby, or maybe I should say losing another baby.  As much as I know I shouldn't, I think about what I would do if Baby Boy never existed in my arms.  I don't believe I could go through that and come out ok.  I think I would lose all desire to be myself, all desire to ever have children.  To go through the grief of losing another child would be too much to bear.  I think I'm a strong person, but I fear that I wouldn't be strong enough to handle this.  I fear that this would destroy my marriage and my relationships, especially with my friends or family who have children. 

It's an odd sensation to put your fear on paper.  The crazy that exists in my head becomes a reality when written down.  I wonder if I re-read my blog in a few years if this fear will have changed. 

And finally, if someone knows your greatest fear, do you believe this is the greatest power they can have over you?