Like a library book, I'm overdue

Yes, I'm still pregnant.  I am not really complaining about this so much as I am in disbelief that I am still pregnant.  Today I walked the mall for two hours, with no contractions.  Then I had a massive breakdown when I got home.  Like, uncontrollable crying.  I don't know if I'm overtired or just tired or just done.  I told Sparks he could have a couple of his friends over to watch some NBA thing (ps I hate basketball).  DUMB IDEA. Who thinks having people over is a good idea for a woman who is 40 weeks pregnant? Yeah, not me. 

Anyway, so now I'm upstairs, blogging.  I did grad school work, for which I have absolutely no motivation, and now I'm blogging to avoid going downstairs where there are real people to whom I actually have to be nice and pleasant.  The last few days I've really lacked the motivation to do or see anyone. I want to curl up on the couch with Sparks and just not think.  Thinking makes me anxious.  The longer I'm pregnant, the more I start to worry about everything, like breastfeeding, or sleeping times, or naps...WAHHHH it's enough to make me want to start crying again.  I'm ready to jump into mommyhood, not dwell on the ins and outs of it. 

I'll stop my little pity party now and talk a little about the lovely week we had.  My last day of work was Wednesday, though I've been pretty busy with work still.  With email, I can still do a lot of the things I was doing at work.  The only thing that's really different is that I'm not actually in my classroom teaching, must to the dismay of my students.  I teach a class of over-achieving juniors who are in the middle of a major research project, so they're a little needy right now :)

Sparky and I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day.  We've never gone out (except the one year we were in Vegas) and our  tradition is to cook an "extravagant" dinner for ourselves and enjoy a nice bottle of wine and champagne.  This year, we had steaks and au gratin potatoes. As a throwback, we lit up the fire pit and sat outside by the pool talking.  (throwback being...our first Valentine's day together, we both lived at home.  Sparky came over to my parent's house and I had their firepit set up and a blanket laid out full of yummy appetizers...so this year we celebrated "old school" style).  Thoughtful actions mean more to me than gifts; Sparky gave me some "coupons" to use once Daniel gets here (ie: one girls night out) and cadbury eggs, which as he said, are better than any crappy Valentine's candy.  Though right now, I will devour anything chocolate. 

Honestly, I don't mind Valentine's day.  I just hope that I always show Sparks how much I love him.