Somewhere in the vicinity of the second trimester

Books are contradictory.  Today, I am 13 weeks. Does that mean I'm in the second trimester, or do I have to wait 3 more days, or one more week? Who knows.  I'm thankful to have made it this far.  13 weeks.  Wow.  Just wow. (side note: I hate the number 13.  Do you know there's no row 13 on airplanes? Or gate 13? interesting, huh?)

After my minor freak out/doctor reassurance visit on Monday, I've been a good girl.  No unnecessary worrying, no frantic calls to the nurse, no over analyzing symptoms.  I actually feel--GASP--fairly normal!  This scares me to some extent, but I think that's fairly common as one approaches the Second Tri.  I am EXHAUSTED at night; I thought this had gotten better but now it seems to have returned full swing.  After some serious growing pains Saturday and Sunday, I have a belly.  It's a pretty obvious belly.  When I wear my belly band, it's like HELLO prego belly.  Of course I start to think, is this too early? Do other people show this early, or maybe I was thin? (did I say I wasn't analyzing symptoms? Come on, you know me better than that!)  My workmates are just so sweet about everything.  I grew up in the school at which I now work, so I have a family here. 

Despite varying opinions, DH and I decided to announce on Fbook.  I know that there are a lot of people who will poo-poo this, but I wanted to do it.  I want to be happy and try to get over my anxiety and this was one step in doing so.  I'll post the pic below.  This does NOT mean my anxiety has gone away.  The thought of jinxing baby by announcing at 12 weeks definitely crossed my mind.  I thought that when I bought maternity clothes too.  So far, no jinxing.

I don't see Baby B for another 2 and a half weeks.  This makes me nervous.  That's a long time to just believe everything is ok.  I can't feel baby yet and as I'm feeling way more like myself, there's not a lot to remind me that baby is there.  I wonder if I will cave and go to Dr. N. just to hear a heartbeat...I promised DH I would wait and not be "That Obsessive Girl," but that's easier said than done.  I'm sure I'll petition my SIL to use her doppler, though not finding the heartbeat on an at home doppler because baby is small freaks me out too.  I'm hoping I'll be so busy with work, etc that the next 2 weeks will fly by.  Ironically, that means I'm wishing for my 29th birthday to get her just as quickly, since that's the day of my appointment.  (cue horrible thought of getting bad news on my birthday while DH is overseas).

So there's all my crazy for 13 weeks, but despite my crazy, I am in love with this peach-sized baby.  I think I'm finally letting myself bond.  And I'm really glad the baby's body is now growing to match its over-sized head.

Silly, I know. Turned out dark here, sorry.