The song "Manic Monday" always reminds me of my college roommates for some reason. I feel as if we sang this often, or maybe that we used to put on 80s thrift store dresses and just dance around to it. But anyway...
I started taking my progesterone last Friday to hopefully jump start my next cycle and begin TTC (trying to conceive) again in April. A little background--the estrogen/progesterone hormone therapy accomplishes several things: healing and building up the lining of my uterus, increasing cervical fluids to help fertility, and jump starting my next cycle by helping "slough off" the lining of my uterus. In my head, I think these hormones are just making my uterus a nice fluffy pillow-like place where lots of little embryos want to implant; I envision my uterus being like a big, puffy, pink cloud. I realize this is a very strange image, and yes, I do actually know what the inside of my uterus looks like (thanks to a lot of pathology bills and a very thorough doctor), but I prefer to think of it this way. Don't question me--I'm full of hormones.
I've taken these hormones before, back in January before my first hysteroscopy, but DH was out of town at the time and not at all prepared for the side effects. I'd forgotten how crazy this hormone makes me, which isn't surprising given the fact that progesterone is one of the hormones that increases when you're pregnant, accounting for those mood swings as well. Last time I started progesterone, I looked up the effects and pretty much was able to check them off the list one by one as what I was feeling.
Increased anxiety? check.
Bitchiness Unpredictable mood swings? check.
Increased desire for anything chocolate? check.
Exhaustion? check. I feel like a crazy woman right now, and the only thing that's helping me through it is asking myself, why are you feeling this way? Are you justified in your anxiety or in your "lashing out"? I feel like the Old Me, the girl I was in college who didn't understand how to deal with life or herself yet, and this frustrates me.
DH probably thinks that some crazy alien woman has invaded my body. He told me on Saturday that I somehow lost my filter and just say whatever comes in to my head without thinking--I would say that sums up my mood swings quite clearly. He's been so understanding through this whole process, but I know he's just as excited as I am to be done with the hormone therapy, which will last at least through Saturday, unless my next cycle shows up.
For me, this definitely feels like a Manic Monday. I wish it was (next) Sunday.
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